Do you maintain eye contact with someone when you're talking to them?
On my way to an open house yesterday, I stopped at a fast-food drive thru for a soda. When I got to the first window to pay, the young man who took my order never looked at me once from the time he took the cash from my hand to when he gave me my change. Looking to the side, he said, "Thanks. Have a good day." No eye contact. None.
That brought to mind the church service I was just at an hour earlier and how even during the exchange of the sign of peace, most people never make eye contact. They're already looking to the side to see who they can shake hands with next. This has been going on for quite a while, and it seems to happen with people of all ages. If you don't even look at me when you say, "Peace be with you," how sincere are you?
As I was walking out of the gym today, the woman behind the desk said, "See you later," without taking her eyes off the papers on her desk.
What kind of impression are we giving others if we don't look them in the eye when we talk to them?
Eye contact is one of the most powerful methods of communication we have. It shows sincerity; it shows you care about what the other person is saying; it shows that you are listening. When you are focusing on something other than that individual, it shows lack of concern and that you really aren't listening to and hearing what is being said. It gives the impression that you're too busy to really focus on the task or conversation at hand.
So take the time to look someone in the eye when you're talking to them. It's such an easy thing to do -- it's such an easy way to make someone feel like they matter.
Hi Peggy - What a great post - I always look into someones eyes, and make it a point to get them to look back at mine. What an interesting observation you had a church. Thanks again for the great topic. I think next week I will make it a point to pay attention to this and see how many people I can get to respond to eye contact. Make it a great weekend.
Peggy, you are right it is a bad habit to look at people indirectly. I don't think they mean it, they are just not caring enough in their jobs, or sometimes there is some underlying shyness there, believe it or not. I had a friend a long time ago in high school when I looked away he moved his head around and lined up with my eyes. I always remember that and don't do that anymore.
Good point, Gary -- possible shyness. I'll have to remember that. :)
You are exactly right. Eye contact is very important. Now that you brought it up, I do notice it quite often. I hope you have a great evening and I wish you the best.
Thanks for your comment, Nate. Now that I brought it up, I'm noticing it a lot more, too! You have a great evening, as well.