Have you ever sat down in front of the computer knowing what you want to write about but not sure how to start? Or how to get it all out in a neat and concise way? That's how I'm feeling right now...
Life has been interesting the past several months -- almost a year now. Personal and professional hurdles have knocked me on my bottom, and after long talks with the best of friends, hours upon hours of reading, hours upon hours of praying, long walks, talking with Dad (who I know is watching over me), and drives through the peace-filled countryside, I thought I had picked myself up and brushed myself off. I thought I was clear in my mind of what I had to do, what changes I had to make that hadn't already been made, and what I wanted.
But here I am on a Saturday evening struggling to sort through this muddied mess.
I lost someone in my life who I considered a friend as a result of circumstances I had no control over. And I miss him. I miss his smile, his sarcasm, his laugh, his stories of his kids, his sweetness. Funny how it doesn't hurt any less now than it did months ago. It breaks my heart.
I have a job that I love. But yet I struggle with feelings of letting my clients and customers down as we all struggle to come out of a real estate market that has proven to be more than a challenge to so many. Do they know I am doing all that I can to find "the" buyer for their house? Do they know I am checking every day -- several times a day -- for the "perfect" house for them?
And like so many others, the bills seem to stack up quicker than they get paid.
Sometimes it feels like you're at the bottom of a pit, looking up for any sign of light, but it's just not there. And then something points you in the direction of taking a drive and ending up at your mom's house and visiting with her and your 3-year old nephew, who she happens to be watching for a couple hours. And his innocence and inquisitiveness erases the hurt and doubt for just a little while. And your mom's offer of some homemade caramel corn and a bag of candy to take home warms your heart.
Words of encouragement from an unexpected online chat with a dear friend help to reassure you that all will be well -- that you deserve to be and will be happy. Be happy now.
I don't know what's ahead for me. I do know there will be some pretty big changes, though I'm not sure what exactly those changes will be. And I know that I have to trust and believe things will be okay. I have to. Don't we all? After all, without faith and hope, what do we have?
Here's to letting go, and letting God...
Peggy,
Stay encouraged! When you're down to nothing, God is up to something! Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Keith -- Thank you. I appreciate that!!
Without the storm we can't enjoy the rainbow. Keep looking up!
Gary -- Whew! I don't know what to say about your comment except a sincere "thank you." I continue to ask and pray for complete faith, trust, and belief. And I continue to take joy in the "small" things in life. The best to you!
Cathy -- Thank you for your words of encouragement. I know you are so right -- so right. I promise to keep looking up.
Peggy, first of all i want to say to you that you are "precious" - your spirit shines all through your words.... and is heard loudly and clearly. In the natural, we are promised tribulations and trials... we suffer and it is felt and is hard to go through... but we come out nevertheless... There is a way to come out... either wiser and stronger or bitter and weakened.
You shall come out wiser and strengthened, for your longing for truth is evident. It's a cry that's heard by your creator and can only be answered in time. You DO have faith, and the faith you have is not in vain for you shall SEE that God in His infinite wisdom has not wasted anything..... His Word, which says.... ALL things work together for GOOD, is solid.... good WILL come out of this.
For now, you hurt, but GOD is bigger than your hurt and will bring comfort... He will.
Diane -- I'm pretty speechless right now. I am learning that it takes (for me anyway) constant reminding of all that you said. It's learning to constantly remind myself that things always turn out okay, even if, for the moment, I can't see how that will be. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your encouragement. I am so grateful I found this group of people here on ActiveRain -- so grateful.
we should have lunch sometime :)
Anytime, Pat -- anytime! :)
Hi Peggy,
I'm so sorry to hear about all the things you are going through. It can be overwhelming at times. Belive me, I know. But it also seems that those same trials are drawing you closer to God - which may be exactly what He wants. As Keith said above, "God is up to something." I too am going through some of the toughest challenges I've ever been through. And at times like this, I can't help but think of verses like the following .
Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:31 "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Thank you for sharing.
I'm so sorry about your struggles right now, Peggy. It's always hard to love someone you love and time doesn't always seem to heal it, at least not right away. It's especially hard to shake when you're in a funk to begin with. I think "Let Go, Let God" is a great mantra. I know things will get better for you. They have to.
Michael -- Thank you for sharing those quotes. Love them! And they certainly do help. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you continue on your journey, as well.
Heather -- Thank you, too, for your kind words. How humbling to have such support! Things are getting better -- just need to remind myselft daily (actually, a few times a day!) that everything will be fine. I know they will. :)
Peggy,
I was looking for posts to reblog for my "Need a Lift" inspiration posts.
"Be warmed and filled". I've been on the receiving end of those words with my world in shambles and they are a mockery without the clothing, food and shelter to back them up.
You didn't go into details, and that's understandable. More than just words of encouragement, what can I or any of us on AR do to help you in your business?
And I did reblog this.
Hi Peggy ~ I know that sometimes it is easier said than done to let go and let God be in control. It just takes a lot of practice! It is amazing the people (rather Angels) God will put in your life to help you get through the tough times. God is so good. We just have to let him be in control and quit trying to control everything on our own. I am sure it will all work out for you, if you just let it!
Mike -- I just noticed the re-blog! Thank you! Things are much better. Letting go a little more each day...
Vickie -- Thank you for your sweet, sweet words. Life really is better when you learn to let go of the control.